John Donahoe, president of eBay

A number of years ago I went on a 4 day white water rafting trip on the Green River in Utah.  The route was mostly level 2 and 3 rapids with an occasional level 4.  There were three rafts in our group.  I remember getting to our raft and looking at our guide—a young man who was just eighteen years old.  My mind went to judgment and my body went to fear about his potential inexperience.  Then I asked him how long he had been rafting and how he approached things.  His answer sealed the deal for me.  “I’ve been rafting on this river since I was 14 years old.  But every time I come to this river I always assume it will be different than any time before.  The river can change in an instant—and I don’t take anything for granted.”

Alrighty then, we’re going to be just fine—and we were.

But that trip is such a reminder for me that leadership is an ongoing journey—and one that can change in an instant.  And unlike the rafting trip, where we are encouraged to travel light, our leadership journey is one in which we often bring years of experience (and bad habits along with us).

Last week I heard an energizing and inspiring presentation by Chad Pregracke, Founder and President of Living Lands and Water.  While Chad had many great things to say about his journey, three things stood out for me.  First, he talked about approaching a local company to sponsor him and he asked for a large sum of money (a sum that many people would say he was crazy to ask for).  His comment, “I didn’t set out with small intentions.”

Second, Chad said that if you set out to do good things, then good things will happen to you.

And finally, Chad said he read somewhere that the earth wasn’t destroyed all at one, but piece by piece.  “And so that is how it needs to be cleaned up” one day at a time.

Those same lessons apply to our leadership journey, as was evidenced by the fact that the same day I heard Chad speak I had an email from a coaching client who is working to redirect some of her leadership efforts and overcome bad habits.  She said, “I’m working on the things we talked about.  It’s hard to change fifty-something years of bad habits…but I’m starting.”

And that is all that we can ask.  If you follow Chad’s advice, you can start something with big goals, but also recognize that you’re going to achieve those one day at a time.   And remember, that leadership development really is a marathon, not a sprint!

I sit on the airplane flying home after almost two weeks working in Europe.  As often happens when I travel for work, I find myself feeling excitement to be home and also a sadness of having left new “friends” behind.  At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I love my work.  I get up almost every day and have the chance to teach, coach, and most importantly perhaps, continue my own learning journey.

This was a trip of leadership training for a client.  There was a four day course in England and then the following week a two day course in Germany.  In both courses, they were participants from different countries.  The first week we had a wonderful mix of English, German and French.  The second week was German and English.

I wish that I could say that I speak the languages, but I don’t.  I did however do my best to learn a few key words in German and also study some things about the cultures in the UK and Germany.  It is always important to me when I travel to a foreign country to be as respectful as possible of the local cultures, even if I don’t speak the language fluently.

One of my biggest lessons came the first week.  All of the participants spoke English, some better than others.  I tried my best to be aware of the words and phrases I used in my examples and Power Point slides.  I also looked for those times when I got the glazed over looks from some of the participants.  Gradually though, by midway through the third day of training, I noticed that people were more vocal and asking me to explain a word or phrase.  I realized how very much I appreciated them doing that.

And then it hit me that I hadn’t actually ASKED them the very first day to please feel free and ask.  I guess I just assumed that would happen.  But I learned that isn’t the nature of many of the people who were in the course.  It left me wondering how many times the first couple days I left them wondering “what the heck is she talking about.”

The good news is that I took my new found learning to heart.  The very first day of the second week of training I asked the new group of people to please feel free and ask me about anything they heard and didn’t understand.  And I’m thrilled to say they were very receptive and did indeed do so.

Days away from home:  12.

Hotels:  5.

International flights: 3.

Learning: Priceless. 

Thank you to all of my new friends in the UK, Germany and France.  A special thanks also to Alexandra and her husband Thorsten who spent a wonderful day introducing me to the Old Town of Heidelberg.

I’m really intrigued by the concept of working towards becoming an Ideal Self. The idea interested me in our initial class discussions, but it became even more interesting during our class when we performed the “where-will-we-be-in-ten-years” visioning exercise. I closed my eyes, sat back in my chair, and I started to see my ideal future take shape before me. The family life was happy, content—similar to today only evolved ten years. What about the work portion of my vision? It was great too, but it was very different from what I do now.

I have a passion for both creativity and empowering people to think of unique solutions to problems. I have a passion for helping others learn how to help themselves. One of the problems with Corporate America as a whole is that we’ve become so process driven, we’ve taken some of the creativity and individuality out of jobs. As soon as leaders start treating people as ends to means instead of actual human beings, people become dehumanized and demoralized. Ironically, if we take away a person’s ability to think and be creative, our processes will never improve. The processes and the people will eventually stagnate and then deteriorate. Bill George made a comment in the podcast we listened to about most people won’t buy into a mission that says, “increase the share price.” I certainly attest to that. (reference www.http://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/article.cfm?articleid=1697)

I realized I like to do good and help others do good in the world. I don’t know when it happened, but I stopped being motivated by money some time ago. I now want to be in environments where I can help others succeed and grow. Don’t get me wrong, if earning money becomes a natural by-product of where my passion takes me, I won’t complain, but I keep thinking about the story Ginny told the first night of class about the charitable woman she met in South Africa. To me, this woman seemed fully satisfied. When that woman looks back on her life, she’ll know she made a difference. She won’t think, “If only we could have increased production capacity by 6%.” No one looks back on their life and wishes they had earned a few more paychecks. People look back on the relationships they’ve formed and the impact they’ve made.

I really liked what Dave Green, (CEO of the Mississippi Valley Regional Blood Center) said at the end of his presentation. He encouraged us all to get involved in our communities. This made me think about why I don’t volunteer more. At this point, I’ve stuck to helping people I know. Why don’t I give more time to the community? Then I learned something about myself: I want to help. I want to get involved, but on the nights I have free time, I’ll distract myself with something “easy” like a movie or a book instead of helping others. I’m always disappointed in myself when a night goes by where I didn’t accomplish anything. What I’ve noticed in the last few weeks is that if I don’t act on my passions, I start to get pouty and irritable. I’ll start to justify any lazy or procrastinating activities by saying, “it’s good to watch six hours of TV in a night. I needed to unwind.” Does that sound familiar? I’ll commit an act of self-betrayal—I’ll tell myself that I’m going to find volunteer opportunities, but then out of some fear of not being able to help strangers, I don’t.

Here’s what I need to work on the most: Executing my Passions. That sentence can be read in one of two ways, but I assure you I don’t plan to kill my passions once and for all.  Instead, I need to start living them, being more active with them, and lead with them.

In my feedback interviews I was told I have, “a unique mind,” yet at work, any unique idea I have needs to go through two or three bureaucratic channels before being tested, let alone reviewed and implemented. That kills my creativity. I like to have passion for what I do. I like to know my energies are being put towards something I love. I want to know my work is appreciated. I want to start small—volunteering outside of work—to see what is out there. Who knows, maybe I’ll build the right network, learn the right skills, and start my own charitable group someday?

If that happens, my life will be much closer to my ten-year vision. What I saw when I closed my eyes was a man who woke up early, went for a jog before work (which means I must not be going to work at 6:00am anymore), had cereal with the kids, kissed the wife goodbye, and then went into the world to make it a better place. This man used his sense of humor and his ability to connect with people not for his own personal, financial gain. Rather he used it to help unlock other people’s creativity and spread joy throughout the world. Similar to the “multiplier effect” we attributed to good leaders in class, the man in my vision helped multiply his own joy for the world through others. It was a satisfying vision and hopefully if I learn how I spend my time, build a network of volunteer-oriented individuals, and keep my mind, soul, and body sharp, I can become that man.

The above quote has been a favorite of mine since I was a little girl.  And this quote came back to me over and over as I wrote the following essay for the Athena Awards about empowering women.

Nurturing and inspiring a woman leader is about helping her find her own language, and gaining the courage to express her unique voice. A woman leads best when she truly knows who she is and understands how she operates in this world.  While the languages and lessons are different for each woman, four common experiences emerge when it comes to empowering leadership.

The first is a woman discovering her purpose and leadership vision.

Teri, a recent student in an MBA class I teach, wrote about the challenges of reflection in her first paper. “I am becoming concerned that I may not be in the right position for my long-term happiness. I need to get a grip on who I am, where I want to go, and what I want to do/be when I get there.” One week later, she wrote about the power of gaining clarity on her purpose and vision. “My husband has known about my desire to own and run my own horse barn since the day we met. We are constantly looking for the right piece of land on which to build my stables. We have not found it yet, but at least now we finally are on the hunt. Even though I know I will be with Company X for the next three years, I am already planning my next steps.”

The next weekend of class Teri came and told me that they had just found 50 acres perfect for her horse business — and it was just two miles away from where they live.   After discovering her purpose and allowing herself to dream, Teri is now on her way to making her personal vision a reality.  I just received an email today saying “we didn’t end up buying the 50 acres we checked out.  We ended up buying a 40 about 8 miles away, but it’s just gorgeous and is the spitting image of my dream place.  It’s truly amazing. “

The second experience is a woman learning and embracing the differences in masculine and feminine styles of leadership.  Each person has a unique blend.   Finding the authentic style that works, while honoring her true feminine spirit, can be challenging for a woman. In the opening chapter of one of my favorite leadership books for women, Dancing on the Glass Ceiling, the authors share the story of a round peg trying to force her way through to the “other” side of leadership in her company — through a square hole. The round peg suffered because of it.  The story goes on to say that only when the round peg is on the “other” side does she truly realize what was lost during her journey.

“Instead of recognizing our strengths, we have obsessed over our weaknesses.  Instead of daring to stand out, we have ‘shaved off’ little pieces of ourselves so we could fit into the square hole — the accepted, masculine-driven pattern of business,” authors Nancy Fredericks and Candy Deemer write.

The third experience is a woman articulating her personal brand. This involves understanding her personality type and embracing her strengths, independent of her job, her company or any other life status. Two weeks ago, I sat with a woman and watched the “branding” light bulb turn on.  “So, it isn’t about changing my style to become the person they (her male colleagues) want?” she said. “It is about me understanding my brand and how I add value to the business.”

YES!!!

The fourth experience is a woman connecting with other women leaders. For example, my own story of leaving my job as president of Midland Press to launch Integrity Integrated often serves as a motivation for others. A woman who comes to understand herself is prepared to become a great leader, and many times encourages other women to do the same. Sharing our stories is vitally important.

I identified my life’s purpose fifteen years ago. When clarity arrived, it resonated to the depths of my soul.  My purpose is to nurture and inspire others to reach for the stars. Learning from my own experiences along the way I gathered insight into my own personal power.   I also determined my leadership vision: To be an internationally respected teacher and coach whose work inspires others to discover new possibilities in their lives.

To develop more women leaders, we must encourage all women on this path of discovering their authentic leader within. I consider it an honor to help guide women on the journey.

Steven Bahls, President of Augustana College speaks to the 2011 Quad City Leadership Academy

Steve Bahls provided inspiring opening words to our Quad City Leadership Academy last Friday.  After talking about his initial failures, he went on to say that he did get involved with leadership positions in the Boy Scouts as well as other organizations.  In a candid and inspiring message with the participants, Steve reinforced the idea that leadership is more of an art than a science, and he provided his top six tips.  I won’t steal all of Steve’s great stories but do want to share a couple of them.

Lead where you are passionate.  Prior to coming to Augustana College, Steve served as Dean of the Capital University Law School in Columbus Ohio.  Steve went to meet with Dave Thomas, founder of Wendys and was excited about the opportunity to sell Dave on the idea of naming the law school after him.  Shortly into his presentation, Dave stopped him and said, “I don’t like attorneys.  Having grown up in the Foster system I understand how difficult lawyers made my life.”  Realizing it was best not to sell something impossible, Steve shifted gears.  Instead he worked with him to create the Dave Thomas College of Adoption Law.

Steve also talked about meeting with people at their 50 year class reunion from Augustana College.  Each person had 3 minutes to reflect on their lives.  (Can you imagine—3 minutes to reflect on your life of 73 years?)  “Many are still trying to figure out their calling.  They also talk about how they learned from their failures, false starts, failed marriages, etc.”

Employ Imagination Step outside your own shoes and look at problems from a different point of view.

Create a marketplace of ideas. Oliver Wendall Holmes said, “Truth is raised by the free trade of ideas.”  Steve said if he could be on a desert island with one person, it would be Oliver Wendell Holmes.
Surround yourself with strong people and learn how to listen to different ideas.

Don’t put your personal ethics on the shelf.

Everyone who succeeds has a mentor. Find a peer, inside or outside of your organization who will serve as your mentor.  This should be someone you totally trust, but also someone who will be direct with you.

Follow Micah 6:8. “He has shown you O man what is good.  And what does the Lord require of you?    To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” Pursue humility.  Steve said “I believe in giving people mulligans.  If I write people off for making mistakes, I’d be the only one in the room.”

I continue to be inspired and it just doesn’t seem right to keep them to myself.  After grading reflective papers and final assignments for our most recent MBA Leadership & Personal Development Class, I want to share just a few tidbits of wisdom from the students.  As you read them, let me know how it inspires you to think differently.

CREATING A FIVE YEAR VISION:

“The visualization exercise where we pictured a day in our life in 2015 had a huge impact. Drawing it was even more fun. I do like to envision the future, but in the past many of my thoughts were more generic in regards to success and I’d never really defined what that looked like or meant to me. To put it down on paper made it real for the first time. To vocalize it had even more of an impact. For the first time I realized exactly what I want my life to look like and that my dreams are attainable, all I have to do is make sure I’m focusing on what’s really important.”

“Doing the “Where Will I Be in Five Years” activity was very insightful.  So many times my wife and I casually talk about the future, but it seems like we are only caught up in what is happening today and in the next year.  We never take the time to think about further down the road.  Of course we try to plan for certain things, but to actually lay out a road map and hold ourselves accountable is another story.  Taking the time to visualize where I will be in five years was critical for my development.  Not only did it reiterate what would be most important to me, but it made me think of the exact actions I need to take right now to get there.  And if I don’t like some of the things I see in five years, than I need to start correcting them today.”

ROLE OF OTHERS IN OUR DEVELOPMENT:

“It’s my responsibility to walk this journey of leadership, but that does not mean I have to do it alone.  In fact, if there’s one immutable fact I’ve learned, it’s that taking this journey alone is a fool’s errand, and I have been quite the fool.”

“They complimented me on my willingness to grow as a person and wished me the best.  This leads to a point of mine.  It is human nature that we want to help everyone become better people.  No one, or at least the people I associate with, wants to intentionally hurt other people.  We are all here for one another and constructive feedback is part of life and the growing process.”

LEARNING WHAT NOT to DO:

“My current manager knows all the details and everyone comes to her for questions but her whole day is taken up by this and instead of being a manager she has become the subject matter expert.  Instead of leading, she is telling.”

Okay, he wasn’t a student, but this is how John Quincy Adams summed it up (as a student reminded me):  “If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.”

I am inspired by the many students I had the privilege to teach.  Many thanks to all of you. 

The timing of the above quote was synchronistic as it came on the heels of an insightful experience with a new client.  I was working with a team of 10 people around communication.  We used one of my favorite exercises to shed light on communication challenges.   The group was divided into two groups of five and then each subgroup was given bags of Legos.  Each Lego bag had exactly the same Legos as their teammates on their subgroup.  Simply put, the task was to sit in an arrangement where they couldn’t see each other and through verbal communication only, work together as a team of five and have each person on the team put together the exact same structure, using their Legos.   Oh, and they had to use every one of their 30 pieces, be as creative as possible and finish in 30 minutes or less.

I watched one of the teams engage, communicate and generally have a great time.  The other team was a stark contrast.  As that second team organized themselves and their pieces, one person took the lead and began explaining where the place the first pieces.  One member of the team that struggled (I’ll call her Ann) was raised in another country and had never used Legos in her life.  I watched Ann grab the correct pieces but she was continually holding them upside down and trying to follow instructions that were clearly not making sense to her.  As I continued to watch the team dynamics, each member of the team tried to describe in their own words how to position the first pieces.  Still no success.  After 10 agonizing minutes, I did something I’ve never done before in the 10 years I’ve used this exercise.  I walked over to Ann, turned the pieces right-side up and helped her arrange the first four pieces in accordance with their instructions.  Finally, success!  From that moment forward, things were easier (not easy, but easier).

Having watched this game many times, I have seen many people “check out” when they get frustrated.  To the credit of everyone in this group, that didn’t happen.  Everyone was generally trying hard and sticking with it.  But the overarching question is “What could have been done differently in order to make this more smoothly?”

In the debrief I offered a suggestion.  Rather than having everyone else in the group attempt to describe things from their own perspective, it would have been best if they had stopped and said to the person who was struggling, “Ann, tell us in your own words, what you are looking at?   How do you have the pieces put together right now?”  This was clearly a case of good intentions by all in the group, but those intentions also kept them inside the box as opposed to seeking to understand the other person’s perspective. What transpired from there was a good discussion about how this also applied to areas of their work and missed opportunities to truly understand one another in the rushed objective to get work done.

Last Tuesday I attended an excellent session in Des Moines called “Women in the Boardroom”.   http://www.womenintheboardroom.com/.  The panel speakers were Ruth Harkin, attorney and retired Senior VP, United Technologies Corporation; Dr Sheila McGuire Riggs, Chair of the Department of Primary Care, University of Minnesota School of Dentistry, and Mary O’Keefe, Senior VP and Chief Marketing Officer, The Principal Financial Group.  The panel was facilitated by Mary Kramer, retired Ambassador.

The intention of the 2 hour panel was to hear from these women about their experiences on public, private and not-for-profit boards in order to encourage more women to get involved with board at all of these levels.  The overwhelming message from the panel was this, “Yes, you ARE qualified to be board members.”  In the past five years, the number of women on public and private boards has barely changed and we women need to take ahold of the opportunity to change these numbers.

I left inspired and informed and wanted to share just a few of my notes with you.  Many of these stories are relevant for men as well as women.  Please note that the items in quotes are based on what I wrote down as having heard the women say and I have not checked them with the speakers themselves.

Ruth Harkin shared a story that she decided in her late twenties that she wanted to be on the Iowa Board of Regents.  She kept moving toward that goal, and 30 years later, in 2005, was named to the board.

Ruth also shared another inspiring story.  She was in her forties and working as an attorney.  She was also pursuing opportunities to serve on a publicly held board.  At the same time that she had an opportunity to serve on the Conoco Phillips Board, she was also offered a job with United Technologies.  Unfortunately United Technologies didn’t want her on outside boards.  After careful thought, she told United that would be a deal breaker for her as she really wanted to serve on the Conoco Board.  United came back a day later and said they would make an exception.

Her advice:  “You have to be aggressive and let people know you want to be on boards.” Once on a board she talked about the importance of doing your homework and also going into the workplaces of the business.  “Your ability to be effective keeps changing because the needs change and the dynamics of the board will also change.”  You said we have to stay current in order to continue to have the credibility to raise the issues. 

Dr Sheila Riggs told the group that the state of Iowa is one of only 2 states in the U.S. where state wide boards and commissions are required to be 50% women.  In talking about serving on not-for-profit boards, she suggested women join because 1) you have a passion; 2) it is great networking opportunity and 3) it is great training for leadership.   She also reminded us that women need to be very proactive about championing other women for board membership.

Mary O’Keefe said her journey  began when she started volunteering.  She also staffed boards and commissions for her organization.  The private board memberships came to her as a result of relationships she built over the years.  She did say however that is important for people to have clear expectations for what boards require of their members.  One other great piece of advice she gave was that you have to be willing to ask the tough questions.  “Being polite isn’t a good idea as a board member.”

Of note:  Four out of eleven members of the board of The Principal Financial Group are women.  This was previously five but a retired board seat has yet to be filled.

During the Q&A session, someone asked “Norway mandates that a certain percentage of board membership be filled by women.  Do you think we should have a requirement in the US of our corporate boards?”

Well now, that certainly opened up a discussion.  But rather than share the thoughts, I’ll  toss it out to you.  Should we legislate that a certain number of women be required on our boards?

Let the chaos began! As you might imagine, most of the people in the room ran around in order to do their very best to fill their plate.  At the end of the 3 minutes I called time and asked people to pause for a minute and look at their plates.  “Now,” I said, “How many of you remember the people that you put down on your plate?” There were more than a few groans in the room.I then instructed them to find their 11:00 appointment and have a discussion directed toward our topic at hand.

Here is the email I received (with the names changed to protect the “innocent”):

I particularly enjoyed what I called the ‘clock’ exercise where we ran around and networked for a few minutes to meet 12 people to fill our time on the clock.  Believe me, I was feeling pretty smug when I finished ahead of schedule and had my clock all filled in with names (first names only) of people to meet with.

Imagine then, my horror, when you told us some time later that we were to find our 11:00 appointment and go meet with that person to follow up.  Oh my gosh, I realized I had missed the whole point of the exercise.  In being so results-oriented, I must admit to you that I basically flung myself at people, reading their badges (many of whom were acting just like me, I mention in self-defense!) and scribbling down their names.  I never dreamed I ‘d have to follow up.   Fortunately, I did happen to know my 11:00 appointment as I had worked with him years ago.  So I had no trouble finding him and we had a great little discussion.  Phew – I dodged a bullet there.  But then you were clever and asked us to do the same thing with our 4:00 appointment !!  Oh dear, I thought, I am in trouble now.  My 4:00 appointment name was “John”.  I turned to Sally (who came with me) and said (in my typical loud voice) “oh dear, I just wrote down ‘John’.  I don’t even remember what he looked like! How will I ever find him again?”  (by this time, I was starting to feel pretty ashamed of myself for focusing on the TASK, not the people)

The man in the row directly in front of us turned around and grinned at me and said “don’t worry, Lisa.  It was me you met with at 4 pm.”

Oh lord, how embarrassing was THAT, Ginny!   Fortunately, for me, he had a good sense of humor.  To add to my chagrin, he told me that he had “met” me over the phone about a month ago when he called me with a question.  (at that point, I was wondering if I was starting to experience memory loss…)

Well, we re-introduced ourselves and had an excellent discussion and it turned out he was in a position here at work where we really did need to connect and start working together.   Trust me, Ginny – I have kept the paper plate clock with his name (last name now included!) and am going to set up a time to network with him soon.

But wait – - my story of embarrassment doesn’t end there.   That night at home over dinner, my husband says to me “hey, one of my colleagues met you today over the noon hour, and he said he practically had to chase you down to get more than two words out of you because you were in such a hurry to get to the next person”.    I cringed inside at the truth of those words.

Anyway, this True Confession may be more than you wanted to know, but I thought it was worth giving you the feedback that I learned probably more than you intended by that little exercise.  I re-learned that you never get a second chance to make a first impression, and it is more important to give people the full impact of your respectful attention – Be Here Now, as the buzzwords say.

Today, in the leadership class I’m teaching for CIMBA MBA students in Italy, we heard from an Italian entrepreneurial leader.  Luca Seminati is the founder of Ideal Work company.  (www.idealwork.it).  He kicked off our class this morning by sharing stories and his 5 points of advice about leadership.

1.  Get leadership skills and ideas from areas outside of just business. “You can learn a lot from people outside of business.  “  Look to religion, community and politics for perspectives.  “When I was a participant in leadership courses through CIMBA,” he said, “It was like they walked into my house and pointed to a box that was already there, and said, ‘open it.’  I realized that I already had a great deal of leadership skills but had kept them locked away inside.”

2.  Don’t copy other people’s leadership style. Have your own style and remember that other people are always watching you.  He cited the experience of the French soccer coach in the World Cup who didn’t cross the field to shake the hand of the other coach after France lost the game.  He was later fired by the President of France.

3.  Have Passion and Vision. “I have 2o people in my company and we’re constantly talking about the vision of where we are headed.”

4.  Find a way to get feedback about your leadership skills. “As you move up the organization, you’ll find that people are more and more reluctant to give you candid feedback.  That is when it is even more important.”  When he found he was getting niceities and not feedback he asked “Are you SURE there isn’t anything I can do better?”  After a couple times of asking, he started to hear better feedback.

5.  The most visible person isn’t necessarily the leader. Last year, in 2009, his company sustained heavy damage from a tornado .  “It impacted 50% of my business,” he said.  He was honest and upbeat with his people and said that while this was going to be a tough time, “we do have insurance and we’ll cover the rest.  It will be a difficult couple of months but we’ll get through.”  And NOW, the kicker.  A number of his people voluntarily slept in the building at night for up to three weeks in order to protect it from intruders.  “All because they wanted to do it.”

Thank you Luca for your many words of wisdom!