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Spiritual Walk in Bettendorf June 22, 2009

Posted by integrityintegrated in Balance, leadership.
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Although I’m out of the office this week, I’d like to share this post with you.  Enjoy!

At first, it seemed like a simple assignment.  I was taking a class in Spiritual Perspectives and my assignment was to spend one half-day (minimum 3 hours) walking.  As I read the assignment I felt tightness in my stomach.  I found myself wondering if I could split it into smaller sections and not have to commit so much time in one chunk.  I decided that wasn’t the idea of the assignment, so I scheduled a time to go.  The first day didn’t work because it was raining and I definitely wasn’t interested in walking in the rain.  Then I began thinking about squeezing the walk into my schedule during the week.  I looked at one day where I had just 3 ½ hours in between two appointments and I considered using that time.  Again, I decided against that strategy because I knew I didn’t want to be under a time crunch and begin rushing myself.

The day I finally chose was a beautiful Saturday.  I left home at 9:00 in the morning and walked for over three hours in sunshine.  The grass and trees were green and the flowers were in full bloom and fragrant. 

Before I left I found myself “preparing” for my walk.  I wondered what I needed to take.  Did I need to take money for an emergency?  Did I need to take something to drink?  Should I take my house key in case no one was home when I returned?  Did I need more clothes?  I ended up with some water, a little money, sunglasses, and myself.  And I discovered that was all I needed. 

My need to be over prepared reminded me of my inner need to be prepared for change.  I used to have nighttime dreams about trying to snow ski.  In the most powerful dream, I was busy making preparations to go skiing: trying to find the right shoes and the right poles, etc.  When I finally made it to the top, there was barely any snow left and I was only able to ski down the hill one time.  It wasn’t much fun because the snow was mostly melted.

I didn’t understand the meaning of the dream until much later when I was telling a friend about my plans to leave my previous job, get a PhD in Psychology and open my own leadership coaching practice.  She looked at me with incredible kindness and asked why I felt I needed a PhD.  At that moment, I thought about the dream and it suddenly made sense.  The dreams had been telling me that I didn’t need a bunch more credentials in order to follow my heart and pursue a new career.  I just needed to make a decision and make it happen.  She reinforced my conclusion when she said it me, “Ginny, it isn’t the credentials you bring, it’s the passion.”

Back to the walk.  At the beginning, I found myself making up “rules” that weren’t clear in the assignment.  Was it okay to talk to people along the way?  Was it okay to stop and rest if I wanted to?  I decided the answer to both questions was “yes” but found it interesting that I even wondered about the “rightness” and rules of the assignment.  This too is a pattern in my life.  I like rules; but usually I like rules so that I can break them. 

I walked through residential areas and I walked on the bike path.  Initially, I thought about walking the entire three hours along the bike path because the surroundings were much more serene. However, I found myself beginning my walk in a residential area in Bettendorf.  I’d driven through the area before but hadn’t walked.  I found I could notice much more on foot than when I was driving. 

One thing I noticed was a great deal of trash on the side of the road; I wished I had something to put it in.  When I stopped to get another bottle of water, I asked for a plastic bag and used that to put the trash into.  I was reminded of Thomas Moore’s discussion in Care of the Soul about how we are internally affected by the condition of our external world (and vice versa).  I didn’t want my outer world to be full of trash and I wanted to do my part in cleaning it up.

In order to get from the residential neighborhood to the bike path, I chose to walk along Middle Road.  It occurred to me then that there was a purpose in walking the route I’d chosen so far, as opposed to just being on the bike path.  The outer environment was full of noise and pollution and distractions and yet I found an incredible ability to walk along the road, mindful of the external world, but also mindful of my inner being.  For me, it was a lesson in integrating my inner and outer world.  My walk was not about escaping from the noise of the outer world but learning how to blend the outer and inner world together.

Take a walk today. It will be good for your body and your soul.  (And please take a trash bag to clean up the roads).

Update 1/1/2012: Our blog has moved to a new home on our website, please visit us at http://integrityintegrated.com/resources/blog to read more!

Your Circle of Trust – A Place to Breathe June 14, 2009

Posted by integrityintegrated in Balance, June 2009, leadership.
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“When we are seen by the heart we are seen for who we are.  We are valued in our uniqueness by those who are able to see us in this way and we become able to know and value ourselves”    Rachel Naomi Remen, Kitchen Table Wisdom

 A campfire in the center.  A camp counselor playing a guitar. Counselors with names like Birch and Patches and Froggie.  And a circle of girls belting out their favorite songs. Sitting in circle at Girl Scout camp is among my favorite childhood memories (yes, even better than the Girl Scout cookies).  Many times we would march to the campfire and begin with a ritual to remind us of the sacred space we were entering. 

   My early memories of campfires were perhaps the seeds of my passion for sitting in circle with other women.  Circles are certainly not unique to Girl Scout camp; women and men have been sitting in circle for centuries prior to my experience. 

   I will admit though that after my Girl Scout years, I went for many years without experiencing the positive support and energy of a circle of women.  I grew up as the only girl in a family with three older brothers.  In my twenties and early thirties I didn’t appreciate the value of connecting closely with other women.  About ten years ago a friend gave me a book called “Circle of Stones: A Woman’s Journey to Herself” by Judith Duerk.  It is a book about the power of women coming together in a circle.  “How might your life have been different if there had been a place for you, a place for you to go to be with your mother, with your sisters and your aunts, with your grandmothers, and the great- and great-great-grandmothers, a place of women to go, to be, to return to, as woman?  How might your life be different?”

      Reading Circle of Stones re-ignited my earlier passion for circles.  And I took action.  Even before I left my previous job to start this company, I began inviting women to sit together monthly.  Intuitively I knew that we were to sit in circles.  Our first circles met in my living room and we created our own rules for coming together.  Many of those early rules are in place today—and they are consistent with the guidelines put forth by others for creating circle as a sacred space.  When we moved into my current office space, we continued to pull the chairs together and sit in circle.  Building code doesn’t allow for a campfire at the center but we do have a place in the center with something representing each of the four elements: earth, fire, water and air. 

  Over the years I have had the privilege of creating leadership circles for hundreds of men and women.  Why do people continue their commitment to these circles?  Because the circle is a place where we can listen and learn and grow.  Sarah, a woman in one of our leadership groups said the monthly meetings were “a place to breathe”.  Another woman last week said the women’s leadership group is the one day a month that she most looks forward to coming to work.   

 If you’re not part of a circle right now, I encourage you to find one or create your own.   Some websites and books to provide guidance are:
http://www.turningtooneanother.net/
The Millionth Circle by Jean Shinoda Bolin
Sacred Circles: A Guide To Creating Your Own Women’s Spirituality Group by Robin Deen Carnes and Sally Craig

 

Update 1/1/2012: Our blog has moved to a new home on our website, please visit us at http://integrityintegrated.com/resources/blog to read more!

Managers make widgets; Leaders make Change June 2, 2009

Posted by integrityintegrated in leadership, Uncategorized.
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“A leader is anyone who is willing to help.”  (The Berkana Institute.  www.berkana.org )

 One of my favorite discussions in all of our leadership courses centers around what is leadership and what is management.  In his book, “Tribes” Seth Godin describes it this way:

“Leadership is Not Management.  Management is about manipulating resources to get a known job done.  Burger King hires managers.  They know exactly what they need to deliver and they are given resources to do it at a low cost.  Managers manage a process they’ve seen before, and they react to the outside world, striving to make that process as fast and as cheap as possible.
 Leadership, on the other hand, is about creating change that you believe in. 
 Leaders have followers.  Managers have employees.
Managers make widgets.  Leaders make change.”

 Consider also the following comments from two different MBA students following our discussion of this topic.  Both came from their reflective writing assignments

 “A key idea that resonated with me from the class discussion is that leadership is a choice and not merely a power inherited with a title.  Far too often we find ourselves wrapped up in the notion that leadership is a position we get to in the company.  That is a vain and fallacious view of leadership.  Unfortunately, I have developed too many of my expectations with the premise, “If I do a good job now, one day, they will make me a leader.”  I’ve always held that leadership is a management position that I will earn one day.  However, I have realized that my opportunity for leadership is up to me.  I don’t need to wait for my company to tell me I’m a leader.  I can simply start being a leader today.  Interestingly enough, I believe that stepping up and showing my leadership today, and exercising it, will do more for my bigger career ambitions than the path I am currently on.  Not only that, but I can get a lot more done now by being a leader to my co-workers (and even my managers) by leading.”  (Spring 2009 MBA student)

 “I’ve recently begun to make an effort to differentiate between the leaders and managers at my workplace.  The layers of management are quick to refer to their group as “leadership”, when in fact they only react to manage current circumstances.  While management skills are critical, the class discussion made it clear that an organization cannot thrive with purely management or leadership skills – it must rely on a balance of both.  This gives me some clarity as to why I’ve been so frustrated with those in positions of authority, as they consistently react to financial pressures, and ignore the forward-thinking pleas of subordinate leaders.  Unfortunately, it is extremely difficult to manage or “lead” up the chain of command.”  (Spring 2009 MBA student)

 And so you get it, right? 

  • A leader is anyone who is willing to help. 
  • Leadership is a choice, not a position. 
  • Leadership is a set of teachable, learnable and measurable results. (Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner)
  • Management is about STABILITY.  It’s about planning, directing and controlling resources in order to deliver consistent results (product or service. 
  • Leadership is about CHANGE.  It’s about creating a vision for the future; creating a culture where people are motivated and inspired to grow.
  • The power for being an effective manager comes from position—from being the boss.  The power for being an effective leader comes from your personal power; being a coach, facilitator and servant leader. 
  • Managers do things RIGHT; Leaders do the right thing.  (Peter Drucker)

 Which leads us to two questions. 

  • Can you be a good manager without being a good leader?
  • Can you be a good leader without being a good manager?

What are your thoughts?  Leave me a comment and let me know.

Update 1/1/2012: Our blog has moved to a new home on our website, please visit us at http://integrityintegrated.com/resources/blog to read more!

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